So my husband started a new job Aug 15. It is temp to hire. Full on hire is anytime between 6 mos to 1.5 yrs. I am having a baby... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of Damsel | mood: Good

F My Husband and F The USA

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1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 5:44:28 PM EST (GMT-5)
So my husband started a new job Aug 15. It is temp to hire. Full on hire is anytime between 6 mos to 1.5 yrs. I am having a baby in March, via C-section so he would need to be home to help me care for our hyper 30 lb two year old for at least a week or more, depending on my healing which we cannot predict.

Since the lazy son of a bitch won't take any initiative to find out these things on his own and I have been asking him to figure this out from the get go (found out I was pg before he started this job in fact) I had to call the corporate number to find out what his paternity leave is. Was referred to the group that handles FMLA which I knew he would not qualify for as he hasn't been there a year yet. Then am told he could get 12 weeks unpaid personal time IF his company approves it. As it turns out he asked his supervisor to move him back one single hour to accomodate

1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 5:45:13 PM EST (GMT-5)
a possible need for daycare. To which she states the work load would not allow for. Well if he cannot even be moved back a single hour, why would they approve a paternity leave?

I am very angry at him for not getting this info sooner and putting all this stress on me to have to make these phone calls. He never takes care of his business...it is always me. He promises he is going to do things, he doesn't then I either have to do them or he forces me to be a "nagger".

People in countries that actually have paternity benefit, you are very lucky. Thank your lucky stars. The US is crap. Doesn't care about its people AT ALL.
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 5:48:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
I guess I can just postpone having the baby or cancel it altogether.
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 5:50:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
America is so sh*tty when it comes to having a baby.

Hopefully they will give him the time off, if not, do you have any other options?
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 5:57:29 PM EST (GMT-5)
He copied the E-mail response from his supervisor and her tone is that he is "just a contractor".

I have been asking him to talk to someone there for a few months...that is why I am so mad.

We don't really have many options. In fact I have no one to watch her even when I am in the OR having the C-section. Luckily my hospital will allow her in my room but I was going to have to put her in daycare for one day so my husband could be with me during the surgery or else go have the surgery alone.

Really he should be doing his business, and being his own boss instead of working for these pooty companies but he is too lazy to get that started up again.
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 6:01:40 PM EST (GMT-5)
That's so much stress that you absolutely don't need. I'm mad for you.

Also, that's so f*cking ridiculous that they won't give him a little leeway to literally welcome his baby. Is there any one above this lady he can address it with?
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 6:10:31 PM EST (GMT-5)
I don't know who he can talk to. He has told me these decisions are made by his supervisor, not HR. There is a go between, between the company and the temp service but it sounds like it is just up to the company in the end.

The law in the US needs to change. The citizens of this country should not tolerate this. But the politicians don't do crap to listen to the people, do they?
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 6:14:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
Honestly. It's absolutely bananas.
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 6:16:05 PM EST (GMT-5)
My friend moved to the US and got married there. She has decided to come back to the UK when she gets pregnant,
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 6:21:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
This country sucks. The people never matter. Sure there are other countries that do treat their people even worse but this whole "the greatest country" "the land of the free" etc that the US proclaims to be is total BS.
1 month ago - Monday 12/10/18 - 6:49:55 PM EST (GMT-5)
Trumpland uber Alles.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 1:10:19 PM EST (GMT-5)
Well I read on the corporate site for the company he is working for that they allow up to 4 weeks of PAID paternity leave. They also went on about how they realize and acknowledge the importance of employee's family. So if they do not give him the UNPAID time I am going to be writing corporate and asking why do they not actually follow what they proudly proclaim to believe in, etc.

Either way I don't want him working there anymore.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 1:17:47 PM EST (GMT-5)
If he's considered an independent contractor, that's how they'll get away with it. It's why it's always better to be a bona fide employee if you want all the benefits the company is offering.

Doesn't make it right, but it's fairly common.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 1:21:46 PM EST (GMT-5)
So far they have matched ALL of his available time off to the company policy...with the exception of him not getting paid for it.

In the end if they truly feel that way...if they think family is so important, and if it is their decision to make in the end...they should stand behind it. Not be hypocrites.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 1:23:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
He talked to the go between person today and she is going to talk to the company HR and get a solid answer before the end of the week.

His supervisor is a private part.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 2:42:29 PM EST (GMT-5)
My husband has been an independent contractor for nearly 14 years...we have never had a single issue.

There is literally no set vacation time or PTO...its just kind of a do your own thing type of situation...But I suppose it helps that he is IT and can work remotely if needed.

What does your husband do?
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 3:03:54 PM EST (GMT-5)
I've been self employed since I was 22. There's no way I could have kept that up if I had to finance health insurance at US rates.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 3:32:27 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Tuesday 12/11/18 - 3:03:54 PM Boredofu wrote:
I've been self employed since I was 22. There's no way I could have kept that up if I had to finance health insurance at US rates.

We use medical sharing It has saved us so much money and has just overall been a game changer.

We tried just buying a health insurance plan....it was a disaster. Paid as much as we are now for our whole family for one person for the most terrible insurance I could even imagine.

The medical Sharing plan has literally saved us so much money...Both of my pregnancies covered in full from beginning to end

The problem with medical sharing though is that it really only works for the solid middle class with a bit of expendable income/savings...as most of it comes out of pocket first and then you make the claim. It's a bit of a process but worth it.

especially choosing my own doctors
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 3:46:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
He is basically customer service.

He in the past did web design for real estate. Made very good money doing that. But he is too lazy to do it...too lazy to put in any effort to get the clients again.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 4:06:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
Sounds like you think quite highly of your husband.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 4:18:27 PM EST (GMT-5)
I do not like him anymore. If I weren't trapped, I would leave him. I love my Daughter and the new baby and am very blessed to have them but if I did not have a high risk pregnancy that requires me to be at the doctor for three hour appointments every other week I would be gone. I would get a job and my own place and reclaim my life. I gave up so much for him and he is so selfish and lazy. And not just towards me, but to our Daughter as well.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 4:19:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
Damn, the truth comes out!
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 4:22:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
Well, I guess you're honest about it, anyway.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 4:26:13 PM EST (GMT-5)
Don't worry, there is no love lost. If he cared about me and my well being, then why is he stressing me to where I have to call HIS company to find these things out? Knowing that the stress leads to high BP and messes up my blood sugar which are two things that are part of my "high risk". Kind of hard to not dislike and resent a person who mistreats you like that.
1 month ago - Tuesday 12/11/18 - 4:34:41 PM EST (GMT-5)
Why's he being such a dick?

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