so i was home on my lunch break and i go to flush the toilet and the whole f*cking thing comes off the wall. it`s like screwed into the wall... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of skyfish | mood: Good

f*ck

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12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:37:50 PM EST (GMT-5)
so i was home on my lunch break and i go to flush the toilet and the whole f*cking thing comes off the wall. it's like screwed into the wall and the wall has crumbled and the screws come out and the whole thing leans off the wall and water starts trickling from a joint

so i put a bowl down and phone my landlady and at first she's like 'i'll see if i can get someone around on monday (!)' and i'm like
no
and she relents and says she'll call her guy and see what she can do and then phones back and says that she can get her guy there at 4:30
GREAT
except i have to be back at work so i have to let him get the key from the estate agents and just go into my flat without me there which makes me uneasy but what choice do i have

so i get home at 5:40pm and the toilet is now more securely screwed to the wall but held in place with various makeshift tools and there's water all over the floor

12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:38:38 PM EST (GMT-5)
and a bag of workman's tools

so i'm like '....is he coming back?'
i wait for like half an hour and i have no idea so i start making dinner (salmon fillets with broccoli and green beans) and just as i need to take my fish off the grill he turns up again to get his tools

and he tells me that i'll have to not use it for a while?? and i'm like 'what's a while, i kinda need to use a toilet on a regular basis...'
and he says i can't use it tonight or tomorrow morning and he'll TRY and come back tomorrow morning but can't guarantee it because he has other jobs too...
and maybe i'll be toiletless until saturday morning and i really hope it's not longer than that...

UGH GOD
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:39:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
on the plus side my meal was delicious
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:40:42 PM EST (GMT-5)
Oh no, plumbing problems are the WORST.

Do you own a chamber pot?
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:41:35 PM EST (GMT-5)
nope
i can use the sink for number 1 and work for number 2, at least tomorrow i guess
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:42:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
Considering the fact that you have no toilet, you should probably be eating less for the next couple of days...
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:42:23 PM EST (GMT-5)
remember that scene in pineapple express where they smash all the porcelain in the bathroom with seth rogen's face?
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:42:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:42:07 PM CowDung wrote:
Considering the fact that you have no toilet, you should probably be eating less for the next couple of days...

lol i thought that
On Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:42:23 PM amaqdrinker wrote:
remember that scene in pineapple express where they smash all the porcelain in the bathroom with seth rogen's face?

i do not!
i should rewatch it, i do remember enjoying it
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 1:50:46 PM EST (GMT-5)
If the bottom part of the toilet is still intact, you should be able to still use it.

I assume the water feed to the tank part of it has been turned off, so you can't flush it using the ordinary method, but you should be able to flush it by dumping a bucket of water into the bowl.
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 2:19:50 PM EST (GMT-5)
i guess it was actually danny mcbride and it was just his head breaking the sink but i still found it very funny.
12 days ago - Thursday 11/29/18 - 8:32:37 PM EST (GMT-5)
Ugh, what a nightmare. Hope they fix it asap and gtfo of your space.
11 days ago - Friday 11/30/18 - 1:01:39 PM EST (GMT-5)
still not fixed as of this lunchtime so i decided to go back to my parents' tonight
11 days ago - Friday 11/30/18 - 1:03:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
OH NO
11 days ago - Friday 11/30/18 - 2:04:02 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/30/18 - 1:01:39 PM skyfish wrote:
still not fixed as of this lunchtime so i decided to go back to my parents' tonight


Probably not a bad plan- - they probably have good wine...
11 days ago - Friday 11/30/18 - 3:08:22 PM EST (GMT-5)
such is the case
11 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 8:58:18 AM EST (GMT-5)
IT'S FIXED
oh sweet sweet toilet, i will never take you for granted again
11 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 8:59:26 AM EST (GMT-5)
i just cooked my parents my coconut lentil soup and it was a big hit
and we watched the first two episodes of buster scruggs and i'm giving them the rest on a hd to take home
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 10:43:16 AM EST (GMT-5)
so in other news i recently (after over a decade of resolutely using the same trusty cheap disposable razors) decided to try one of those fancy five blade type one. only a budget aldi one but still

and holy
sh*t
it's SO MUCH BETTER
jesus f*cking christ what have i been doing with my life??

this is like that time it turned out i'd been wiping my ass wrong
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 11:56:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
If you were using cheap disposable razors to wipe your ass, I'm glad you finally got it right...
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 11:57:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
yeah so much less razor burn it's insane
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 11:59:13 AM EST (GMT-5)
Hey I remember the ass wiping thread.
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 12:00:33 PM EST (GMT-5)
do you use moist towelettes to wipe your arse?
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 12:01:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Saturday 12/1/18 - 11:59:13 AM petitefleur wrote:
Hey I remember the ass wiping thread.

it was a sweeping worldwide eye opening and the yt thread was just one point on the map of international internet awareness
but yeah it was great

so many people were so dogmatic
but i just thought
'let's try the other way' and it was so much better, wtf was i doing lol
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 12:02:00 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Saturday 12/1/18 - 12:00:33 PM amaqdrinker wrote:
do you use moist towelettes to wipe your arse?

nah but i sit down like a real person who isn't an idiot, at least in that respect any longer

i probably should tbh!! but i'm mr half measures
10 days ago - Saturday 12/1/18 - 12:02:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
The thread was realizing that some people stood up to wipe their ass, and some people stay seated.

(I have graduated to a bidet. Just toilet paper is not clean enough. People will get really defensive about this I’ve learned.)

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