I just read this from MyPoints daily poll: "France recently passed a bill banning catcalling/gender-based harassment. Do you think catcalling if harassment?" I think they meant to say "is" but... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of Damsel | mood: Good

OMG Hahaha You`re Kiddin` Me...Right?

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12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 8:43:33 AM EST (GMT-5)
I just read this from MyPoints daily poll:

"France recently passed a bill banning catcalling/gender-based harassment. Do you think catcalling if harassment?"

I think they meant to say "is" but anyway I cannot believe that 41% of females answered with "I'm female and I think catcalling is harassment " thus far. And 11% of males answer "I'm male and I think catcalling is harassment".

Why are we going so overboard and so sensitive? What next? Looking at a woman is harassment? Oh, I guess I better not glance at a male ever again, thus I be harassing him. Hahaha

What are you people up to? I didn't think the site could get anymore dead but it has. Share something cool. How would you answer that poll? Have you ever catcalled or been catcalled?

12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 9:01:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah I mean it’s not that hard for people to just not catcall and if you can’t follow that rule then there’s something wrong
Like, hey guys here’s a behaviour that makes lots of people uncomfortable and you probably already know that you’re making someone uncomfortable and you don’t actually benefit from it any way.. so hows abouts we just don’t do that and everyone’s happy?

I mean just in my area there’s been multiple women raped/murdered on the streets in the last few weeks, so it seems pretty reasonable to ask men to not be yelling out at women who are just going about their day to day stuff.

Calling it over the top/ pc gone mad is a load of fartwank
Just don’t randomly yell out at or whistle at random strangers bc that’s just a jerk move
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 9:22:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
How is catcalling not harassment? Don’t you feel extremely uncomfortable, embarrassed, annoyed, and sometimes unsafe?
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 9:35:08 AM EST (GMT-5)
Internalized misogyny is a hell of a thing.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 9:37:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah pf just summarised my rambling post pretty well.

It’d be nice if people just didn’t behave that way but they do and it’s at the least uncomfortable, at the worst threatening.

I’m not sure how a law would help with actual claims because it only works if there is a witness or other evidence, as with most sexual harassment things, but it could at least deter people from being so scummy
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 10:20:23 AM EST (GMT-5)
Wow yeah people are just soooo oversensitive for not wanting to be yelled at on the street just because they have a female body and some guy felt entitled to comment on it. What a bunch of snowflakes. I mean the gall of thinking you should be able to walk to the corner store or get the mail or just exist in the world without some asshole and his friends "hey baby"ing you.
I mean you can totally tell they're just well-intentioned compliments by the fact that none of them ever pivot straight to calling you an ugly bitch or even threatening your personal space when you react negatively!
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 10:37:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
And this is the story that sparked this conversation in France, btw:
https://news.sky.com/story/video-of...
Ms Laguerre, 22, was returning home from work on 19 July in the 19th district of Paris when a man started making obscene comments and "noises with sexual connotations".

She said: "It wasn't the first time - that day, that week, or that month, it had been building up. I got angry and said 'shut up'. I didn't think he'd hear but he did."

Architecture student Ms Laguerre told French TV that the man then became angry and threw an ashtray which missed her by inches.

After firing insults at her, the man walked towards her and is seen in the cafe's video striking her across the face.

- - -
But yeah it's nbd and we're all just overreacting.


12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:12:39 PM EST (GMT-5)
Catcalling is kind of gross at the very basic level and, generally, the kind of dudes who do it are not ones that make it flattering on any level, so.

Then, as bird has posted an example of, you've got the Bye Felipe types that can't handle it if it doesn't go well or if you ignore them.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:27:32 PM EST (GMT-5)
No. I am referring to catcalling...a whistle. Said whistle means "Hey lady, I think you are stunning". I am NOT referring to "noises with sexual connotations" or anything more than what I said it is.

As usual the women on her are being weird. I have seen CARTOONS with catcalling in them.

Oh and would something like the Billy Joel "Uptown Girl" video or similar bother you? I love that song.

I guess the next time a male calls my little girl cute I better go turn him in for being a pedophile.

Guys? What is your opinion of this?
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:28:13 PM EST (GMT-5)
My go-to in the city was just to flip them off and keep walking. It's just more common there because of tons of foot traffic + more people in general, and I didn't even think twice about that reaction as long as it was day/there were plenty of people around.

Last time it happened to me around here, I did that without even thinking. The guy waited in his truck while I got in my car, got in the exit line behind me, and followed me out of the parking lot (he was aggressively right on my bumper and when he finally passed me I could see he was yelling out the window in my direction so I don't think it was just a coincidence).
I was less than one mile from my house. He could have easily decided to follow me all the way there. It is scary.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:32:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:27:32 PM Damsel wrote:
No. I am referring to catcalling...a whistle. Said whistle means "Hey lady, I think you are stunning". I am NOT referring to "noises with sexual connotations" or anything more than what I said it is. As usual the women on her are being weird.

No. Don't whistle at strange women on the street. It is creepy and makes a lot of us uncomfortable because now we have to wonder if/how you're going to escalate that behavior. It is not a compliment. And it's completely different from someone coming up to you and paying your child (or you!) a compliment. You know that. Or you should, anyway.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:34:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
Catcalling does NOT just include whistling. It's also that "hey baby" sh*t.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:35:10 PM EST (GMT-5)
I would just smile and go on my day and they'd go on theirs. I'd feel flattered.

But the one time I walked to school with my Cousin, the group of boys who used to stand right outside the school fence and smoke said to me as I passed them "Hey baby. Want to I am a pretty little girl?" and I didn't like that. And got upset that my male Cousin had walked too far ahead to hear or else he would have beat their ass. That kind of thing is NOT OK but a simple little whistle...yeah to be offended by that is taking it overboard in my opinion.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:36:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:34:34 PM Rag_Doll_ wrote:
Catcalling does NOT just include whistling. It's also that "hey baby" sh*t.

Well *I* am just referring to a whistle and if anyone wants to discuss this further please refer to NOTHING MORE THAN THAT
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:36:56 PM EST (GMT-5)
You started off this thread with what France is referring to, so that's on you that you don't understand what you're posting about, tbh.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:37:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:27:32 PM Damsel wrote:
No. I am referring to catcalling...a whistle. Said whistle means "Hey lady, I think you are stunning". I am NOT referring to "noises with sexual connotations" or anything more than what I said it is. As usual the women on her are being weird.
On Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:32:48 PM birdsong4j wrote:
No. Don't whistle at strange women on the street. It is creepy and makes a lot of us uncomfortable because now we have to wonder if/how you're going to escalate that behavior. It is not a compliment. And it's completely different from someone coming up to you and paying your child (or you!) a compliment. You know that. Or you should, anyway.


No you cannot tell me how to feel about it. As I said, I think it is flattering. A way to say "Hey pretty lady" without actually saying it.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:40:10 PM EST (GMT-5)
Fine, to adhere to Damsel's arbitrary rules that she's just set despite starting the thread differently:

Strangers commenting on your body while you're just trying to do normal day-to-day stuff, or get where you're going, is creepy. It doesn't matter if that creepiness takes the form of whistling or actual words. Obviously some forms are more aggressive and scary than others, but whistling at strange women in the street is still creepy and men should not do it.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:42:44 PM EST (GMT-5)
Damsel I actually don't care if you think it's flattering or not. That's on you. I'm saying that many women (myself included) do NOT. You're just trying to invalidate anyone feeling that way by being dismissive and saying it's "overreacting" and "being too sensitive". If you can't understand why that's a bitchy thing to do, then I can't help you.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:44:00 PM EST (GMT-5)
OK where does the line stop?

If he winks is it OK?
If he knods is it OK?
If he opens the door for me, does it mean he is going to slip behind me and God forbid follow me all through wherever I am going?
If a guy looks at me for longer than two seconds he MUST be sexually harassing me.

Where does it end?

Further if I were to whistle to a guy...which I have done before when I was being silly with some gal friends...is he going to think I am sexually harassing him?

If you see a cartoon with catcalling in it, are you going to get upset and turn it off or leave the theater?
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:50:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:36:56 PM Rag_Doll_ wrote:
You started off this thread with what France is referring to, so that's on you that you don't understand what you're posting about, tbh.


YAS. HIgh f*cking five.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:51:14 PM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah Damsel, catcalling is not just a whistle, at least anymore. It's street harassment. It includes that, but also includes nasty language and following and trying to get physical.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:53:44 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:51:14 PM niccole wrote:
Yeah Damsel, catcalling is not just a whistle, at least anymore. It's street harassment. It includes that, but also includes nasty language and following and trying to get physical.


To be fair, I've only ever thought of a catcall as a whistle. So niccole, since you have explained this to me and have been nice and not a twat can you please tell me does the modern lady feel threatened and offended if a guy winks at her? If he knods? If he opens a door for her? Where is the line drawn?
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:55:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
I doubt I'd even notice a wink from a stranger on the street.
A nod would be taken as a "hello"/acknowledgement.
I open/hold doors for men, women, and children every single day, and so do most people, because it's a polite thing to do (and importantly for this discussion, NOT an unsolicited commentary on someone's body)
If you're staring, yeah I probably think you're a creep and will shoot a dirty look your way
It's up to that guy whether he feels uncomfortable with your girl-whistle, but men traditionally aren't concerned that strange women may get aggressive or physically violent if they don't get the reaction they're looking for.
There's a lot of space between thinking something is problematic in a cartoon, and walking out/turning it off.

Also, thanks for calling everyone who disagrees with you "twats."
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 1:59:13 PM EST (GMT-5)
Bird, you're so patient and good.
12 days ago - Thursday 8/9/18 - 2:00:28 PM EST (GMT-5)
The way you express yourselves is in an attacking manner, always. That to me equals a twat. Niccole didn't answer in a pooty way, therefore I am more inclined to actually listen to her.

I just have never ever felt threatened by a whistle or anything of the sort. I honestly cannot wrap my head around a woman who passes a man who whistles at her, they each go their own way...and then her feeling threatened.

Maybe I am just a bit tougher skinned than many women? I don't know.

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