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From the Journal of SleepyJean | mood: Good

Say it in public, you piece of sh*t

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7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:24:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
Yeah, it's not used like that around here at all.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:25:19 AM EST (GMT-5)
http://www.youthink.com/forum.cfm?c...


This is the journal about the converting to Islam. In here you said it was your cousin and her dad and your grandpa that was giving her a hard time. No one stood up for her, so she isolated herself and left.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:25:31 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:24:38 AM SleepyJean wrote:
Yeah, it's not used like that around here at all.

Sureeeee
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:25:43 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 8:10:09 AM petitefleur wrote:
Feminism isn't just women being able to do what they please without scrutiny. Men need to be equal too. Saying things like grow a pair, don't be a pussy, man up.... all are toxic and unequal.

While I don't disagree with this, I see the bullsh*t "man up/grow a pair" crap FAR more from men than from women. Partly because I think a lot of women DO realize this, and are sensitive to "feminized" ways of describing weakness.

And I wonder how many of those guys who do that around here have gotten an uninvited 5-post PM screed directed at them over it (+ their general life choices)? My guess is zero.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:26:52 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:24:38 AM SleepyJean wrote:
Yeah, it's not used like that around here at all.


That's exclusively how it's used in my neck of the woods, which is why I found it shocking, tbh.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:26:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:25:19 AM petitefleur wrote:
[link] This is the journal about the converting to Islam. In here you said it was your cousin and her dad and your grandpa that was giving her a hard time. No one stood up for her, so she isolated herself and left.

My grandpa didn't say a word.

He was silent the whole time
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:27:22 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:24:38 AM SleepyJean wrote:
Yeah, it's not used like that around here at all.
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:26:52 AM chips2001 wrote:
That's exclusively how it's used in my neck of the woods, which is why I found it shocking, tbh.

Here too. I have never not heard it as anything but derogatory.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:27:54 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:25:19 AM petitefleur wrote:
[link] This is the journal about the converting to Islam. In here you said it was your cousin and her dad and your grandpa that was giving her a hard time. No one stood up for her, so she isolated herself and left.
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:26:57 AM SleepyJean wrote:
My grandpa didn't say a word. He was silent the whole time

Obviously I wasn't there, I just read what you posted.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:30:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
I think I must have explained it poorly, then

People spent live three minutes talking about it, of the entire morning.


It's really her relationship we're upset about, and how she's caving on everything for a man who isn't there for her.


My cousin is a grade A pansy, when I come to think about it.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:31:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:24:38 AM SleepyJean wrote:
Yeah, it's not used like that around here at all.


I have a hard time believing that.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:32:44 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:24:38 AM SleepyJean wrote:
Yeah, it's not used like that around here at all.
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:31:35 AM slinky0 wrote:
I have a hard time believing that.

Zip it, pansy
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:34:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
Pansy to me has always meant a wimpy, a delicate flower, over emotional crybaby.

Kinda of like how people are reacting to SJ using the word pansy.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:46:21 AM EST (GMT-5)
Funny how word definitions change though, eh?
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:47:25 AM EST (GMT-5)
You don’t need to defend yourself.

It’s human of you to express uninhibited anger if more than one person’s left because their feelings for you were more than they could handle. You have needs, too.

It’s human to feel shock if someone’s adopted a value or priority that doesn’t make sense to you, especially when it contrasts so sharply with the personality you grew up knowing.

It’s human (and characteristic, I think, of Ahmed) to read meaning and then some into what you’ve written and their online interactions with you, then directly express them to you rather than in public where he may fear it's read as an attack.

It's quite justified, I think for you to react this way to what he's said, and draw the meaning you are from his words. You didn't ask for his thoughts, and you both have your ways of writing.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:47:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
But when you post on this site, it follows and is equally as natural that whoever's commenting will identify with whichever of both your (humanly contradictory) arguments make the most to them personally.

Even when we're walking contradictions ourselves, every person here.

He's apologized. Not sure what you need from him or us right now, but I hope people either tire or reconsider doing exactly the same sort of analysis that Ahmed would from the situation, and soon.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:50:47 AM EST (GMT-5)
Yes, people should in no way comment on, or interpret meaning from journals.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:52:28 AM EST (GMT-5)
I would say the place to do that would be, oh, in the journal?

Or, see the title of this thread.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:52:42 AM EST (GMT-5)
*the same sort of,* Chips. People should at least read, right?
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:55:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 10:52:28 AM SleepyJean wrote:
I would say the place to do that would be, oh, in the journal? Or, see the title of this thread.


I get you. I suspect he had different reasoning. But he was wrong for saying what he did to you and I don't think that changes whether in public or private.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:55:47 AM EST (GMT-5)
What if people commented and made the points they wanted to make - in the way that putting a journal out there allows for, on this site?
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:58:35 AM EST (GMT-5)
As I said, that's inevitable. As is the ensuing damage.

Doesn't change how I feel about it.

Notice, Chipsy, I don't use *shoulds,* I'm sharing my slant on it
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 10:59:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
To specify - - I don't have issue with making points.
I'm making a point now!
I just find it disheartening they're pointing fingers and we're joining them.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 11:05:37 AM EST (GMT-5)
All of this journal is context and flow.

It suits some peoples' narratives too think of Ahmed as a sexist, religious creep. It suits some people to think of SJ as promiscuous or dumb or whatever.

It was neither a kind PM [and there are obviously reasons for that], not was it a kind journal [and SJ has said that she didn't mean 'pansy' in the accepted way, so there are reasons for that, too.]

But to say words and people shouldn't be analysed [with a caveat of 'like Ahmed' is a bit of a contradiction as to why anyone is here, imho.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 11:07:30 AM EST (GMT-5)
Oh, no, that's not what I meant at all.

I actually don't have a problem with Ahmed expressing those opinions.


But not in that way.
7 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 11:07:33 AM EST (GMT-5)
[And to be clear, I don't think of either Ahmed or SJ as either, but this situation and leading up to it is weird, unkind business.]

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