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Dad Jokes

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9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:25:14 PM EST (GMT-5)
Post em.

Did you hear about the guy that fell into the upholstery machine?

He's fully recovered.
9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:36:12 PM EST (GMT-5)
Hahahaha I love these kinds of jokes and since I’m on a long road trip I hope there are more coming.
9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:38:43 PM EST (GMT-5)
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?


9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:39:28 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/10/17 - 1:38:43 PM CuckingFunt wrote:
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness? [image]

Haha! I haven't heard that one before.
9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:39:43 PM EST (GMT-5)
Why does a duck have feathers?








To cover its butt quack
9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:43:49 PM EST (GMT-5)
When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it's apparent.
9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 1:46:54 PM EST (GMT-5)
What do you call fake pasta?

an impasta
9 days ago - Friday 11/10/17 - 2:21:53 PM EST (GMT-5)
Somebody asked me if I was all right.

I told him no, I'm half left.
9 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 12:51:54 AM EST (GMT-5)
My dad had a tonnn of these.

Unfortunatelyi can't remember any of them. Well, plus they are rolled in resentment and sprinkled with bitterness in my mind.
8 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 8:18:00 AM EST (GMT-5)
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
8 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 10:30:38 AM EST (GMT-5)
what's red and tastes like blue paint?

red paint
8 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 11:20:40 AM EST (GMT-5)
Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
8 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 6:38:34 PM EST (GMT-5)
My dad just told me this one..

Where does Hussain keep his DVDs?

in Iraq..(you've gotta say it out loaf .
8 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 6:43:47 PM EST (GMT-5)
A dad just came into the cafe/

I was sampling the paradise cake.

He liked it, and asked his wife if she wanted to get two dice.
8 days ago - Saturday 11/11/17 - 8:06:12 PM EST (GMT-5)
What do you call two crows?

Attempted murder

(Is that a dad joke?)
7 days ago - Sunday 11/12/17 - 8:34:24 AM EST (GMT-5)
Got a friend who is the champion of dad jokes...

He is tells me he's so interesting. You know, into-resting... hurr

Told me the other day did I ever know that he wanted to be a banker

But he lost interest...
7 days ago - Sunday 11/12/17 - 8:42:40 AM EST (GMT-5)
I'm trying to think of more, every time we hang it's like he has a whole new set lol

Uh told me I'm not an account ant, I'm an account giant...

And that it took him a while to come up with that, it was quite taxing
7 days ago - Sunday 11/12/17 - 8:44:47 AM EST (GMT-5)
Also have come up with a new term: "mom jokes". It's when mom tried to make a dad jokes but fails miserably. I was the inspiration...
3 days ago - Thursday 11/16/17 - 10:28:11 AM EST (GMT-5)
A horse goes into a bar and orders a drink.

The barmen says Why the long face?
2 days ago - Friday 11/17/17 - 5:37:16 AM EST (GMT-5)
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen
2 days ago - Friday 11/17/17 - 8:47:02 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 11/17/17 - 5:37:16 AM Sammy wrote:
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen


Canadian beavers are the best.

Just sayin'! ??


2 days ago - Friday 11/17/17 - 10:14:28 AM EST (GMT-5)
Whenever I told my dad I was cold, he would tell me to stand in the corner.

Because it's 90 degrees.
2 days ago - Friday 11/17/17 - 1:10:11 PM EST (GMT-5)
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

Dam
1 day ago - Saturday 11/18/17 - 4:49:54 AM EST (GMT-5)
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?

Because the P is silent.
1 day ago - Saturday 11/18/17 - 2:33:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
All we need now is a f*cking pun thread to make this hell complete.

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