Due to something that came up on another thread, I thought we should discuss a couple of terms. Softboy and f**kboy. Personally, neither bothers me, but I can see how... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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Are these terms offensive / derogatory?

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1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 11:39:23 AM EST (GMT-5)
Due to something that came up on another thread, I thought we should discuss a couple of terms.

Softboy and f**kboy.

Personally, neither bothers me, but I can see how they would be offensive.

Firstly, the use of the term "boy". No dice there. If women can take offense at being referred to as girls, then men can take offense at boys.

"Softboy" has all sorts of negative connotations. Immaturity and impotence jumping instantly to mind.

And as for "f**kboy", that's too easy. Firstly the vulgarity, then the inference of immaturity and of course, the implication that someone referred to in such a way only has value for his sexual prowess.

Thoughts, opinions?
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 11:41:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
To me, particularly as someone from the north of England, softboy is much worse. I'm not arsed about being called a boy but being called soft is a big deal up here (when said with intent). F*ckboy is just amusing.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 11:46:39 AM EST (GMT-5)
are they not actual insults that are meant to be offensive?
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 11:51:48 AM EST (GMT-5)
I am too old to care about these terms.

1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 11:53:11 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 1/2/17 - 11:51:48 AM Mispelled wrote:
I am too old to care about these terms.

1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 11:58:13 AM EST (GMT-5)
Insert joke about cuck being old here.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:02:40 PM EST (GMT-5)
They're just shorthand to describe predictably awful characteristics in someone you may have otherwise seen as a potential mate.

Neither of the things you've posted are really what soft boys or f*ckboys are, tho.

Yes, they're derogatory terms, but designed to describe bad behaviour. Immaturity is part of the insult because the behaviour of both is seen as immature.

Same way 'gold digger' is an insult, but it denotes a specific [usually] female behaviour pattern.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:02:50 PM EST (GMT-5)
I find the term cuck offensive.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:08:06 PM EST (GMT-5)
"They're just shorthand to describe predictably awful characteristics in someone you may have otherwise seen as a potential mate."

Same could be said of "sl*t", on that basis.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:08:58 PM EST (GMT-5)
I saw you get burned by the swear filter guilty you promiscuous trollop
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:12:25 PM EST (GMT-5)
drat it.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:16:35 PM EST (GMT-5)
I'm with Misspelled and Cuck. I'm too old to take such things as an offense.

And yeah: I totally find that screen name offensive.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:20:28 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 1/2/17 - 12:08:06 PM Guilty_Spark wrote:
"They're just shorthand to describe predictably awful characteristics in someone you may have otherwise seen as a potential mate." Same could be said of "sl*t", on that basis.


Not quite. Sl*t is designed to shame a woman based on promiscuity, real or supposed.

F*ckboy and softboy describe specific modes of behaviour within the dating game, usually to try to 'con' women into thinking they want relationships, when actually just want sex.

Interestingly, I hear the term 'f*ckboy' used more by the gay men that I know, than by heterosexual women.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:24:36 PM EST (GMT-5)
They're very much a part of the modern dating scene, and the rules thereof. I steer clear of that cesspool as much as possible.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:25:44 PM EST (GMT-5)
The words "designed to shame" I find just impossible to comprehend. Words are not designed to anything. Phrases can be, but shame is always internal. If you really believe there is nothing wrong with being promiscuous, then no word is going to make you feel bad about being promiscuous. On the other hand if you you think there is something wrong with it, then just someone saying you sleep with a lot of people or using the words promiscuous or promiscuous trollop are all going to have pretty much the same affect on you.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:26:13 PM EST (GMT-5)

1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:26:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
I'd never heard softboy before today, and I've only ever heard f**kboy used in a derogatory sense to describe a man as promiscuous.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:33:04 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 1/2/17 - 12:26:48 PM Guilty_Spark wrote:
I'd never heard softboy before today, and I've only ever heard f**kboy used in a derogatory sense to describe a man as promiscuous.


It's used in a lot of different ways, tbh. In the hip hop sense, it's just someone who f*cks up.

More often than not, it's used not just about promiscuity, but about someone who sends you dick pics, when you ask for notes from a class or meeting you missed, or someone you go on a date with, who spends the night texting other people, including other women.

I see it used to describe a sense of sexual entitlement-based behaviour.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 12:35:07 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 1/2/17 - 12:26:48 PM Guilty_Spark wrote:
I'd never heard softboy before today, and I've only ever heard f**kboy used in a derogatory sense to describe a man as promiscuous.

Same.

As deadfool alluded to, soft boy would mean something different here (although I've never heard it used) Just the word soft is fighting talk.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 2:08:51 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Monday 1/2/17 - 12:26:13 PM feefees wrote:
[image]

Looks more like a millennial being told...anything... to me.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 2:27:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
Huh... I've never heard the term "softboy."

I've only heard the term "fxckboy" used to describe a guy who tries to manipulate girls into having sex with him - lying about what kind of relationship he wants, lying about already having a partner, etc. It might have other connotations, though, I don't know. I don't use it, I prefer the term "douchebag" for people who, well, act like douchebags.

The male equivalent of "sl*t" that I grew up with was "man-wh*re." Don't know if that's still around.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 2:38:45 PM EST (GMT-5)
I'd never heard either of those terms until YT... I guess I'm too old
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 3:53:15 PM EST (GMT-5)
while the words themselves might be offensive because they are vulgar, they carry an existing concept that probably deserve a more neutral term.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 4:01:05 PM EST (GMT-5)
Also - "boy" can def be insulting, just like "girl" is insulting, and for the same reasons. They're both used to be condescending and unnecessarily shxtty.
1 month ago - Monday 1/2/17 - 4:26:18 PM EST (GMT-5)
Playing off what dacash said
If you aren't a fckboi or softboy, or you are and don't care, then these terms don't matter

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