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this one goes out to the fatties and the uglies - Mood:Good

Thursday September 26 20198:10:43 PM |

so i started gaining weight around 10/11, right when I was starting puberty. pretty normal to gain weight around that time. by 12, i was about 130, and from 12 to 20 i had gained about 50 pounds. at one point (within my adult life) i had gotten up to 210, and that was my heaviest. i am currently sitting at 204. i'm 5'3. As a teen, i hated my body, i hated my face, i hated my skin, i just hated everything. i had horrible self esteem back then, and would get so much anxiety when it was time to leave the house, which i tried to do as little as possible. i would have screaming matches with my mom over not wanting to go grocery shopping with her on saturday mornings. now that i am an adult, and having gained 20 more pounds....i'm not really concerned about my weight. i mean, of course i should be. my eating habits aren't the best, and all of these years of bad habits will catch

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this is so fcking highschool - Mood:Disgusted

Saturday September 07 201912:27:40 PM |

i am literally sitting in my college's library. class was short, yadda yadda ANYWAY. i walk in this morning, and guess whose sitting in the back row of my class? my ex boyfriend. the one i broke up with in may. i have four months of saturdays to deal with...and his silent smirking in the back row. i feel like i am being dramatic. i AM being dramatic. im just so fcking......irritated. he didn't know what the fck he wanted to do with his life, and then when i break up with him, suddenly he wants to be a paralegal, suddenly he wants to choose my school. instead of the other institutions offering the same damn degree. he's so bitter and spiteful, i can see him trying to make things rough for me here. i wouldn't put it past him, because he doesn't deal with sht, he just bottles everything up, and he can get pretty dark at times. im ranting i'm ranting im ranting. fml.

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