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dots
Female,
13-17
Southern US
Joined: 1 yr, 8 mos ago
1,533 Posts
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Tuesday 10/13/09 - 7:47:16 PM
This was amazing! It totally gives you a whole futuristic feel. And the writing was really fluently written so it keeps the reader really absorbed.
And the ending was really fitting, because it leaves you with a sort of sad devastation for Bill, as you've become attached to the character.
Very imaginative story. And I love your writing style! |
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BlackBird77
Female,
13-17
Western US
Joined: 1 yr, 7 mos ago
1,070 Posts
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Tuesday 10/13/09 - 8:31:12 PM
Very interesting as well as tragic. I think we could hear a little more about the depth of Bill's feelings, the process of him falling in love with her. Other than that though, it's terrific. Once again, great job. |
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Wubba D
Male,
18-29
Australia / NZ
Joined: 4 yrs, 9 mos ago
1,424 Posts
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Wednesday 10/14/09 - 1:11:59 AM
:D Thanks guys!
And BlackBird, because it's written for a class assessment with a word limit I'm a bit constricted. I'll try and fit some more relationship development in, though. |
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Keyton15
Female,
13-17
Southern US
Joined: 1 yr, 10 mos ago
100 Posts
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Wednesday 10/14/09 - 9:16:58 AM
good story  |
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pink-fairy-x
Female,
13-17
Europe
Joined: 9 months ago
477 Posts
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Saturday 10/17/09 - 4:52:09 PM
Really cool ;D |
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romanking
Male,
13-17
Western US
Joined: 1 month ago
57 Posts
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Sunday 10/18/09 - 8:49:29 PM
i didnt even read it at all but you made me cry |
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Gibbus43
Male,
13-17
Eastern US
Joined: 7 months ago
1,691 Posts
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Wednesday 10/21/09 - 5:01:51 PM
I didn't even know no one rated this.
I give it four stars. Now you owe me. |
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Wubba D
Male,
18-29
Australia / NZ
Joined: 4 yrs, 9 mos ago
1,424 Posts
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Thursday 10/22/09 - 8:01:22 AM
Why do I owe you? |
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hamletsghost
Female,
18-29
Australia / NZ
Joined: 5 months ago
6,572 Posts
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Thursday 10/22/09 - 8:49:06 PM
That was an excellant short story. There are so many people who can't write short stories effectively. It's nice to know that there are still some out there.
The story was very 1984, but without the fear  |
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Gibbus43
Male,
13-17
Eastern US
Joined: 7 months ago
1,691 Posts
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Friday 10/23/09 - 4:46:10 PM
On Thursday 10/22/09 - 8:01:22 AM Wubba D wrote:
Why do I owe you? |
You don't understand jokes yet, young grasshopper. Soon you shall learn. |
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