Sometimes I spend the majority of my day wishing I was DOING something.
I mean, I AM doing things, but those things boil down to taking care of my (beautiful, darling) son.
Meanwhile, the other love of my life, whom I will not call my "baby's daddy" because I find that phrase reductive, goes to work, goes out, and lives an interesting life.
I have to admit that I envy and sometimes even resent him. He's doing nothing wrong, but dammit, he gets to have a life! I often yearn to get out of the house, go to work, meet interesting people an do interesting things, but... well, I got this baby.
And I chose this. WE chose this We both wanted our son to have a stay-at-home mom. I can't even imagine leaving him all day with someone else but I sometimes feel like I don't exist as myself anymore. I'm just Amadeo's mom.
Daddy gets to go out and spend time with our friends, I am now ghost mom.